"TO SUP AT THE TABLE OF CHRIST"

   Lord, i shall be humble

   but there are some things i must shed light on

   through my life,

   i shall try to apologize my positions
   with, if not Faith, then empirical data and the voice of reason

   i shall try appeal to my own common sense,
   and with moral suasion put a definite end to the folly within
   once and for all

   i shall defy any attempt of trying to flatter
   my own sinful nature with any excuse,
   or to meet it with any level of tolerance or apathy  

      i repudiate all attempts
      at trying to equal the good and the bad,
      the efforted and the effortless,
      the dull-of-heart and the enthused,
      the hot and the cold
      and everything else
      that is not truly equal
      in this non-binary
      post-modern clown world :

some things are sacred and some things are evil
and we must enjoy the privilege
to orient ourselves around just that,
otherwise, all the wickedest Devils
will surely come with their tricks and persuasions
to greet us at the door to ruin

because the more i understand humanity
the more i see the fullness !

the more i understand humanity,
the more i understand the guillotine –
but the more I also understand the grace of God !

                       * * *

i swing from the liana of adventure
and fall into the burning darkness below !

and i expect God to pick up the pieces…

i drown in information as my throat is parched
with thirst for a wisdom i do not deserve

i drown in indignation as my throat is bruised
by these hands of Brutus, i truly deserve

    egotism, dullness, naivety, self-pity,
    sloth, nihilism and all the addictions

    these are my sins !

astray in bacchic frenzy
i eloped from grace with Satan !

   i am shit and mud combined into flesh, an arrogant idiot if anything

   yes, and i insist – i am way stupider than i want to show or admit !

i hate pseudo-intellectuals when i so see or hear them – and autists –
because i am so painfully one myself, amongst these filthy throngs !

i admit : the Black Madonna, Our Lady of Uppsala, –
has been my palladium in battles both enormous and mediocre,
and the humility before God is the ever-golden mean
of my human existence : i shall live and i shall die
through spiritual manumission
in total fraternal conviviality
with sinners of all faiths and creeds

and this is how i sup at the table of Christ !