"THE NIGHT RUNNER"

under a funeral moon
i run nocturnal
with but wormwood as witness
in vigil from the heavenly sky

   demons molest me
   chase me
   run after me
   taunt me and belittle me

     fast    fast     fast
     then faster ! faster ! and faster !

i admit – i struggle so hard
to evict the darkness around me
from myself

   i run from it

   it seeps in
   it rapes
   it festers

and then i am the darkness !

   i run. i struggle with my breathing

   i think : why is it so, that the innocent suffer ?

    i can not handle it peacefully, seemingly healthily  
    
    i am paradox !
 
i need to save the world in order to feel alive

i need to kill something in order to feel alive

i want to commit acts of violence, i confess

but what is my anger and my wish for destruction,
both inward and outward,
compared to these stars i run below tonight ?

nothing. and i should learn to know my place

and i know my place now ! 

on these trails of mud and forest paths

cross country

up the hills

i run

i pray
everytime
with my feet
for a better place
a better world
a better life
and total fucking revenge
for those who truly deserve it

i urge to kill something
deservedly so

i seek to participate
in Holy justice
far from jurors and court-rooms

i want to see men genitally mutilated for their transgressions !
i want to see women punished by their peers for their ugly crimes !
i want to see filthy criminals choke on the vomit
of their own drug-induced seizures
and i want see entrails ! – smell the iron of molesters and perverters
of everything that is pure and innocent in this world !

as the watchmen are aiding the impostors
and the guardians the smugglers of contraband –
corruption, judicial and moral, spreads aplenty
while nothing is being done at all

the elite conspires with Satan
to bring the whole motherfucker down

   and all the while
   i carry on running

   what else can i do
   to mitigate this darkness
   both within and without ?